I swear to God I’ve been saying “So this is what Kevin was saying when he mentioned about…[insert experience here]” a lot in my head for the past 12 hours. I felt amazing this morning. Motivated and just eager to do shit. But since noon, I’ve just been feeling dabs of lows. 

I took a nap after getting back and I had a series of really depressing dreams. I don’t remember too much about what happened while dreaming, but I do remember how I felt. Shitty and hopeless. After waking up, the sadness disappeared and I got the feeling of motivation up and running again, and I worked out soon after. 

And soon after, it came back. I felt depressed and frustrated. What sucks is I’m the type that doesn’t really cry. Things just collect inside and it’s difficult for me to express anything. It’s the kind of frustrating feeling of sadness where it’s like I just broke up with someone I can’t call or contact because it’ll just push them further away. It feels terrible. I know I don’t have it as bad as some people do, but fuck, just imagine having the inability to cry. 

I’m just keeping myself occupied right now. Started reading the Hunger Games and shiet, I know understand the hype. I now can’t put the book down. D: